All I want

Cogito, Ergo Sum

A few weeks back, a corporate trainer asked everyone in a forum where I was one of the trainees.

“If you ever get stranded on a deserted island, who are the three people you wish to have to be with you there?”

That question felt raw to me. I answered the question after everyone else mentioned who matter to them. Their mums, their kids, their wives, their sister. No one mentioned husband as I was the only woman on the board of directors and I am not married.

I honestly had a hard time thinking of whom I wish to have to be with me on a deserted island. Sadly, I don’t know anyone reliable enough to survive in such situation. Not even my mum, a figure whom should have been the most important person in my life. She is not that person to me.

Then… I was thinking of some names I know… or used to know. But, I don’t think any of them would be happy enough to be stuck alone with me on a deserted island. It’s unfair to them. No one I know stayed and dedicated their time to be with me when things got hard… When it was truly critical.

Not enough to my standard anyway.

So for all honesty, I really couldn’t mention names… Well, I wish I could. But at this point, I must find peace for not having anyone significant in my life. I have lost everything and everyone last year, including my old self.

When the invisible spotlight directed on me and it’s time for me to answer the question… Surprisingly, I ended up coming up with this answer:

“Wow, fiuuuhh… that was a pretty tough question to me. Good thing you (looked at the trainer) didn’t ask me to be the first person to answer the question. Thank you… (smiled) Well, it’s too bad, I can’t mention any name like every one of you. I don’t know anyone like that in my life.

So my answer would be… I think, I want to get stuck on a deserted island with someone who has a great sense of humour, someone who could find humour and light in the darkest corners, someone who isn’t whiny and would swallow the bitterest pills and carry on until the end of the tunnel, just like I would have, I suppose. And I am happy to say, that I am very much self-sufficient. I believe I could rely on myself to find a way and solve any problem comes my way in such situation.”

There I was, for a split second, I felt invincible. I know I am not, and I’ve found peace in the fact that I could be broken and destroyed. As I know I could glue myself back together and I have navigated myself to be back on track. And this time… a new track, a new direction.

Because… YOLO?

 

 

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