Star Trek Into Darkness: A Newbie Review


I watched this movie twice. Yes, TWICE in a week. The first, when I was in Bandung. The second, just now.

(btw, the companion you have when you watch a movie really matters. Noted that deeply in my soul. Don’t watch this kind of film with a dumbass). Anyway…

I am a newbie for every sci-fi franchise. Including this Star Trek movie. This movie was awesome. I don’t care what those impromptu critics said on twitter. I enjoyed the movie whole a lot. I love every detail; the convo, the jokes, the pictures, the characters. I caught some logical fallacies but overall, it’s an entertaining movie. JJ Abrams did a great job!

Now here is the newbie’s review written by a rookie writer. 

That Khan Noonien Singh is my favorite. Yeah well.. I tend to like the villain better than the protagonist in any movie. The villain usually tends to be smarter, realistic, logical and dark. While Kirk.. hmm.. I have a personal reason why I don’t like Jim Kirk: he looks like my first ex. End of story.

(Okay, Kirk looks better but still, Kirk reminded me of him).

So anyway… Khan’s accent sounds so sexy in my ears. And his oh-so-eloquent-wording. He turned me on, effortlessly.

Now enough about Khan. My second favorite is Mr. Spock. You know why I love Spock.. He is a half-Vulcan. Vulcans don’t lie, have an unquestionable morality: things men from earth do not possess (right?). Now I understand why Nyota Uhura can easily accept Spock’s weird shaped ears (and prolly, weird shaped pen*s). She surely made the right decision.

Now let’s talk about the details.

In the opening of the film, there is this situation where Spock has to plants a cold fusion device to ‘cancel’ the volcano’s eruption. But Sulu and Scotty suggest both the shuttlecraft and the U.S.S Enterprise can not take the heat. The heat from the volcano is too much for the shuttlecraft and the Enterprise to withstand. Huh? I have this simple question, how is that man(oid) in a *special* suit can stand *inside* of the volcano literally feet from the lava, but a shuttlecraft or (hell) the Enterprise herself can not withstand the heat?

Are we really supposed to believe that Spock’s magical volcano suit is made out of stronger stuff than starships? Why not make the whole ship out of that suit, then?

We’ve seen starships like the Enterprise or even shuttlecraft fly through much hotter places than a volcano. Just entering the planet’s atmosphere would subject the Enterprise to the temperature of around 3000 °F (1650 °C), which is hotter than the hottest lava on Earth’s surface, typically around 2200 °F (1200 °C). But, even crazier, we’ve seen shuttles and starships fly very close to suns, which are more like 8000 °F (4500 °C). I think big E would be able to handle a little old volcano.

Let’s get even more sciencey. The hottest lava on Earth is around 2200 °F. The Space Shuttle, the first flight of which was in 1981 can withstand a temperature of up to 2500 °F. Nineteen Eighty One. In 200 years, I hope we will have advanced far beyond even that! (I’m sorry Trekkie, I can’t hold it. This gonna be the first and the last time I bitch about logical fallacy in the movie).

Second. Did you notice that most of the cameo look like Indian and Chinese? This movie is pretty much detailed and realistic on this one. According to today’s population growth, in the future, the entire of world’s population will be half Chinese and or half Indian.

Third. Did you notice that nobody looks fat in the movie? Why? Because from what I know now, smart people tend to watch their food intake carefully in order to keep themselves healthy. And a healthy body is miles away from obesity. Subconsciously, they pass this habit to their loved ones. So their probability to breed is more likely higher than unhealthy people. It’s a natural selection after all. What do you think “live long and prosper” means anyway?

Fourth, most people in the movie seem smart. Well, logically speaking, how can you survive longer on earth if you’re not smart enough? If you keep being ignorant? If keep yourself away from science updates? It’s close to zero possibility, I think. Just from that view alone, it explains pretty well why stupid people will find their way to extinction much easier. I hope I’m not one of them.

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